Interpersonal Communication on the web

I took an interpersonal communications class while working on my bachelor's degree . I loved the class, learned a lot, and had such a great experience that I want to teach it myself. We learned a lot about nonverbal communication, emotions and their effect on communication, and much more. But not once did I ever stop to think about my interpersonal communications that take place online each and ever day. Well, now I’m starting to think twice about it.

While obviously very different, I can’t help but feel that interpersonal communications online are very real and present. Being in an online program, I can definitely attest to their reality! Many of the challenges of face-to-face communications are thankfully removed- when I’m online, I don’t need to worry about my hair, how I look, or if I happened to leave my zipper undone. I’m also not judging the other person by their appearance. It’s a different ballgame, but the end results can be just as rewarding.

One of the major concerns with computer-mediated communication (CMC) is the potential lack of personalization. I have seen it myself- rather than looking at a person, we’re looking at an inanimate object, this object that we own, and it is sometimes hard to keep things personalized. There will probably always be things that will be impersonal- today, for example, I signed up for Pandora Radio (which, by the way, I highly recommend!). It was an automatic, impersonal thing. But that’s okay; when I need to have interpersonal communications, I am able to easily if I choose to do so. Let me explain through a couple of examples just how interpersonal communication can work online.

I went to BYU-Idaho for my BA in communication. Rather than a community college where locals are the majority, the dynamic of the school is such that students come from all around the country to attend. I myself was 7 hours from home (my record was a 6 hour drive). While it brought in diversity, it also made things difficult when graduation time came. Rather than going home a few blocks away, my friends ended up across the country. Under normal circumstances, that’s the end of a friendship, right? Not exactly. Through CMC, I have been able to keep in contact with those close friends. We email regularly, are friends on FaceBook, and text message each other often. We update family blogs, keep up on the news, and are able to maintain our friendships. Our pre-existing, face-to-face relationships have been strengthened through CMC.

I had another interesting experience this summer in my COML 508 course. During our last assignment, we were placed in teams and had to come up with a major project. I was put with three other individuals I had never met before. We had replied to a couple of posts, but had never enjoyed that face-to-face, interpersonal relationship. While working on that project, however, I developed a great friendship with those teammates. We joked, struggled, and worked together- all in an online environment. We did reach the point that we needed some phone conferences to finalize things, but the majority of our relationships were formed online.

Things have to change a bit. When building relationships through CMC, you have to think a little about what you’re saying. You have very few ways to show who you are online, and your words speak the loudest (for some to their favor, for others not so much). There are language adaptations that need to take place. You'll note throughout my blog that I often place side comments in parenthesis (it's a way I have developed to showing an off-hand remark I might have made had I been in person). People often use emoticons to show emotions, as many jokes have gone wrong online where there is no non-verbal communication to show it was a joke ;) Emoticons began in the 1980s for that specific purpose (Mohun, 2002). Because so many jokes were being taken the wrong way, Scott Fahlman suggested they use :-) to show pleasure, and :-( to show displeasure (Lowe, 2003). It worked, and has spread like wildfire across the internet. I find myself using them most often in text messages to be sure the short message I send carries the right emotion.

So, in short, interpersonal communication is possible on the web. Sure it needs to be adapted and isn't perfect. No communication is. But we do at least have one more medium available to communicate and develop relationships.

Sources:
Lowe, Richard (2003). A Brief History Of Smiley's. Retrieved January 23, 2009, from http://www.nerdtimes.com/emoticons/.
Mohun, Sam (2002). Emoticons. Retrieved January 23, 2009 from http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2002/sep/19/netnotes.